Silent Fights with No Reasonz: Ep. 2 ‘For No Reasonz’ by JCWise

April 9, 2022

Clutched in a long embrace, both Noah and Carol-Anne sniffled to hold back salt streamed dripping memories. It’s been way too long.  It’s been years since either of them have seen or heard from the other.  The distance apart seemed like a life time before now. Carol-Anne finally had her brother back home.  Letting go of that forever hug, Carol-Anne immediately begin sign-questioning Noah. Her hand jesters and mouth movement seemed agitated. Carol-Anne signs, “Noah where have you been?  Why did you leave us?”  Never giving him a chance to respond to the first question, she verbalized, “You know we needed you, right?”

Noah’s response was stale yet satisfying,

“Annie, I’m here now.  That’s all that matters!”  

Noah speaks and signs in one motion.  Sharing what he attributes to his story; he expects Carol-Anne to believe his thinking, his truths.  

“You see Annie, our life wasn’t easy.  Our family dynamics are all screwed up. Though we all come from a home with both parents, our family was far from perfect, in fact we still have broken lines. We have quite jagged edged lines in our family tree.  We were left on our own many of times.  I had to teach myself how to become a man.  I often had to do things out on my own.  You were much too young to help with all of what I had to deal with.  Mom and dad were always on the run.  It seemed like they didn’t want us.  I mean, now that I’m older, I get it.  They never had time for themselves, which by no means is an excuse to leave us alone. That’s how it went for us. For many years, before you, me, even mom and dad, that was the norm.  In some cases, this is the life that many people in our communities live.  As latchkey kids we were fed.  We had a place to play and sometimes even abed to rest in.  We even had a chance to develop some extracurricular skills.”

Noah picks up an 8 by 14-inch masterpiece that Carol-Anne painted.

“Wow, Is this yours?”  

Somewhat annoyed, but still in awe of her big brother’s presence she nods, “yes!”  Carol-Anne walks to the window with her head hanging.  Noah squeaks out a phrase, but she could not quite make it out because his back was turned to her.  Annie signed and muffled again, “Repeat that Noah!”  

“C-Anne, I’m sorry, sometimes I forget! I have to roll out for a minute, but I’ll be back later, I promise!”  

Carol-Anne mumbles, “Noah, no, don’t leave me again!”  

“Seriously Annie, I’ll be back later.  I have to meet up with David.  You remember Dave Skids, right?  He’s been ringing my phone off the hook.  We are supposed to meet up for this business deal.  I promise, I’ll be back later!”

The door slams lock closed.  Carol-Anne watches through the apartment window.  As she sits on the edge of her chair, she pairs down to the street. It’s raining, but not too heavy. She thinks of what her life could have been.  She struggles to put herself in the present and future.  Her past is still too daunting.  As the rain drizzles down the pane of the window, she drifts off in a solemn gaze as if pulled inward to a secret place.  Carol-Anne is locked in to one of her fantasy paintings.  She imagines herself as a cartoon animated figure. Every rain drop that fell told her a different story of her life.  She became the main character in this makeshift fantastical story.  Some of her day dream thoughts were pleasant, some not so much.  Those that capture her attention the most, were those that created a safe space with her complete family, yup, even Noah, this time.

April 9, 2022

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